I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
