Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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