so explain again why im purple
no
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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