I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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