He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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