My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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