You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
In other news, I just burned my penis
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
