i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize