You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
