Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
