Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
