I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
