my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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