also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
