so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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