i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
