she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize