I just saw a hot homeless man
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
