I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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