Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
