just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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