Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
