I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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