It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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