You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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