hell yes lets make some ravioli
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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