I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
