You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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