Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize