Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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