but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
