After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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