what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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