Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
