I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Is Oprah even human
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize