New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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