i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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