The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
