So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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