Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
