great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
