It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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