a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
