Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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