he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
