there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
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today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
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Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I did not marry a roomba.
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