I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
