If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you traded sex for a burrito?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
