So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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