**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
