I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
