does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
