is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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