I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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