I'm really into asian looking animals
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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