I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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