currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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