i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
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Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
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We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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