she woke up with a sticky ear
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
