Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
