Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
