I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I would ride that face into the sunset
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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