Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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