I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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