That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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