how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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