so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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