so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
