thus making me awesome and them whores
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
